Adventures in Mormonism

Sandra and I lived in Washington DC — in the District itself — for nearly six years (1999-2005). During most of that time, a major issue was where the Church would build a stake center if and when one was built in the District itself. (The Washington DC Stake center is actually located in Kensington, MD, next door to the Washington DC Temple.) The sad part was that the Church had owned a rather large chapel right in DC many years earlier, but had sold it to another church.

Well, the Church has finally found property and wants to build on it — but they are facing opposition from both home owners and other churches:

It’s not just the traffic and parking congestion that they predict the Mormons will bring to 16th Street Heights, their lush residential neighborhood north of Mount Pleasant. And never mind that the area already has a dozen or so congregations, not to mention a host of other institutions such as schools and day-care centers.

But a tower that’s the equivalent of 10 stories high?

“What are they trying to prove?” said Stuart Peacock, a lawyer who resides around the corner, his narrowing eyes punctuating his disgust. “It’s too much.”

Gloria Eblan, a software engineer who lives across from the property, at 16th and Emerson streets NW, envisions the kind of raucousness associated with a throbbing nightclub, not a church. She insists that a jackhammer-thumping construction project, followed by a weekly parade of chattering congregants will disturb her ever-precious peace.

“I don’t want to come off as the anti-Christ, because I’m not. I just have my apprehensions,” said Eblan, a crucifix around her neck. “The noise is going to drive me crazy. We’re just trying to live our lives.”

Dozens of homeowners have expressed opposition to the new church with lawn signs that read, “Too Big, Too Much, Too Many.” And the Mormons are finding little support from the neighborhood’s clergy, including one pastor who said his objection is rooted not in architecture, but theology.

“They don’t accept Jesus as the Messiah; they accept him as the prophet,” said Edward Wilson, pastor at Church of Christ, a block from the Mormon site. “It’s wrong, I disagree with it, and I wouldn’t want them in the neighborhood.”

Mormon leaders have been surprised by the opposition, in part because so many churches are located there. But they said they’re confident that their reception will improve once they build their two-story brick church, which will host two Sunday services and seat 240. The church will offer underground and aboveground parking, which the Mormons promise will minimize the congregation’s affect on the neighborhood.

I’ve driven up and down 16th Avenue many times. As the article notes, there are many, many churches along that road. The building of an LDS stake center there is not going to change or spoil the look of the neighborhood along that road. This appears mostly to be religious NIMBY mixed with ignorance and some genuine religious bigotry.  ..bruce..

[I belong to a private e-mail list for attendees of an invitation-only technology conference that has meeting annually for nearly 25 years. Early in May, as the news was breaking about the Texas raid of the FLDS YFZ compound, some comments were made by a few posters, drawing some rather uninformed and incorrect correlations between the FLDS Church and LDS Church culture in general, citing as sources (a) a former LDS Church member and (b) a non-LDS person who had lived for some time in Utah. I ended up making two posts to that list, which I reproduce here in slightly edited form.]

[First post -- made 05/02/08]

I appreciate your efforts to shed light on the mess down in Texas. However, the next time you want to opine on and analyze LDS history, thought, and doctrine, you might try actually asking someone who has a thorough understanding of it and has studied it extensively in the context of both historical and mainstream Christianity.

Latter-day Saints (by which I mean members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 13+ million members worldwide, over 50% of those outside of the United States) are almost universally appalled by the various polygamous offshoots, most of which are quite tiny, insular and parochial in comparison. Note that support for such groups is grounds for denying a temple recommend (required to enter and participate in LDS temple ceremonies) and actual involvement is immediate grounds for excommunication. There is no sympathy, winking, or collusion between the LDS Church and these various tiny denominations; the relationship is frankly far more like that of the Roman Catholic Church and the various Protestant groups that arose during the Reformation, each side considering the other hopelessly apostate.

There is also very little similarity between the cultural and organizational behavior of the LDS Church vs. that found in these offshoots. Far from running around in suits and bonnets, and living in isolated communities, Latter-day Saints tend to be heavily integrated in their communities and cultures wherever they are found. There are over 27,000 LDS congregations worldwide, on every continent except Antarctica — and there may be one down there for all I know. Also note that the LDS Church has provided $750 million [correction: over $1 billion] in humanitarian assistance worldwide [PDF] in the last 22 years, the vast majority of which has gone to people who are not members of the LDS Church. All of this assistance has come either directly out of the pockets of the LDS members themselves or from the production of the LDS Church’s extensive welfare system, which itself is run largely from volunteer labor of LDS members.

Also note that many Evangelical Christians consider us too liberal in our lifestyle and behavior (we’re great fans of music and dancing, and our view towards abortion and related issues, while still conservative, is more liberal than that found in Evangelical — or for that matter, Catholic — circles). Anyone who seriously contends that Latter-day Saints are conformist sheep controlled by the Church hierarchy would be laughed out of the room by anyone who (like me) has actually served in an LDS bishopric. (Here’s Joseph Smith’s own observation: “There has been a great difficulty in getting anything into the heads of this generation. It has been like splitting hemlock knots with a corn-dodger [corn muffin] for a wedge and a pumpkin for a beetle [mallet].”)

As for education and intellect, I’ll cheerfully put up the LDS Church’s record against any other religion . For every Sonia Johnson (and there really have been only a few dozen such excommunications over the past 20 years), there have been scores of excommunications for extreme right-wing behavior and hundreds, if not thousands, of excommunications for involvement and participation in polygamous groups.

In short, trying to make statements or draw conclusions about the LDS Church based on the behavior of the FLDS group down in Texas is about like trying to make statements about Methodist and Baptists churches by the behavior of Jim Jones and the People’s Temple.

Finally, I will cheerfully admit — as will most Latter-day Saints — that the LDS-heavy culture in Utah does get a bit, ah, strange at times. A close friend of mine — who served as an LDS bishop over a mostly-Latino congregation down in El Paso, Texas — put it best, paraphrasing from “Hello, Dolly”: “Mormons are like horse manure. Spread them around, and they make things grow; pile them up in a heap, and they tend to stink.”

[Second post - made 05/05/08]

Most (though not all) modern LDS-derived polygamous churches descended from a group of seven Latter-day Saints (Mormons) who were excommunicated in the 1923-1941 time frame for practicing polygamy (the “Council of Friends”).The diagram at the bottom of this website gives you something of an idea of how most (though not all) of these churches are related. The FLDS Church is the largest of the surviving polygamous churches, most of which are either very tiny or defunct.

Still, the FLDS Chruch has only about 10,000 members total, most of whom were born into the FLDS Church and were never members of the LDS Church. The same is true of most of the other polygamous churches; they occasionally recruit outside people (Latter-day Saints or not), but tend to be largely descended from the original recruits (who were mostly Latter-day Saints) in the early to mid 20th Century. (Note that by contrast, the relatively small city of Parker, CO, where I live, has about 4000 Latter-day Saints in and around it, and there are about 130,000 Latter-day Saints in the entire state of Colorado.)

There are also stark contrasts between how the FLDS Church (and some of the other polygamous churches) practice polygamy vs. how it was practiced among Latter-day Saints up through 1904. For example:

The FLDS practice the “Law of placing,” or assignment of marriages, combined with a high level of control of the membership. This contrasts greatly with the LDS. We have no arranged marriages and the average age for LDS marriages is 23. Throughout LDS history, free agency has been a ruling principle. In 19th century LDS plural marriages women were freely allowed to marry, divorce, and leave the community. My own great-great-grandmother, Elizabeth Clark Crouch, was in a plural marriage, and she divorced her husband and left the community with no ramifications. There was no danger of having her children reassigned to anyone else. It was more difficult for men to obtain a divorce, as it was believed that the men should provide economic and social support since there was no state welfare program and women had limited employment opportunities. Kathryn M. Daynes discusses the economic underpinnings of plural marriage in her book titled “More Wives Than One: Transformation of the Mormon Marriage System, 1840-1910.” . . .

Another difference with the FLDS church is their idea that more wives equals a greater chance of exaltation. While our critics like to claim we believed that, Brigham Young stated quite clearly that not everyone would, or should, practice plural marriage. Several members of church leadership–including apostles–were not polygamists. Some of Brigham’s more controversial statements, when read in context, seem to use plural marriage as an example to focus on the idea of being willing to follow God rather than whether or not you actually practiced plural marriage. If plural marriage were required for heaven, why did some members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, our top leadership group, not practice it?

If you would like to read more about fundamentalist Mormonism, I recommend the book “Modern Polygamy and Mormon Fundamentalism: The Generations after the Manifesto” by Brian C. Hales.

– Scott Gordon, fairlds.org (The FAIR Journal — email sent 5/4/2008)

There are some other stark contrasts as well. In the Utah Territory in the second half of the 19th century, when the practice of polygamy was at its peak, Brigham Young emphasized the need for advanced education for LDS girls and women. On one occasion he stated:

“We wish, in our Sunday and day schools, that they who are inclined to any particular branch of study may have the privilege to study it. As I have often told my sisters in the Female Relief societies, we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful, not only to sweep houses, wash dishes, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic [medicine], or become good book-keepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and all this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large. In following these things they but answer the design of their creation. These, and many more things of equal utility are incorporated in our religion, and we believe in and try to practice them.” (Journal of Discourses 13:61; address given July 18, 1869)

LDS women (mostly plural wives!) were heavily involved in national and international women’s rights movements and traveled to the Eastern US to participate in and speak at women’s conferences. Only the first page of the just-linked article is available, but it does set forth the basic situation; also see An Advocate for Women: The Public Life of Emmeline B. Wells, 1870-1920 by Carol Cornwall Madsen (BYU Press/Deseret Book, 2006), as well as this transcript from the PBS Special, “The Mormons”. In 1872, LDS women (again, mostly plural wives) started their own intellectual journal, The Women’s Exponent, which was published for over 40 years.

For that matter, women in the Utah Territory were the second (after those in the Wyoming Territory) in the United States to receive the right to vote, in 1870. That right was stripped by Congress in 1887 in the effort to end polygamy and reduce the political influence of the LDS Church, but it was restored — 25 years ahead of the 19th Amendment — when Utah gained statehood in 1895. In fact, the actual language put into the Utah State Constitution was, “The rights of citizens of the State of Utah to vote and hold office shall not be denied or abridged on account of sex. Both male and female citizens of this state shall enjoy equally all civil, political and religious rights and privileges.” (1896 Utah State Constitution, Article IV, Section 1, “Equal political rights”).

In short, it’s hard to imagine a more dramatic contrast between the TV images and news accounts of the (apparently) highly-sheltered, controlled and under-educated girls/women at the FLDS compound in Texas and the broad, active, literate, and — for its era (we are talking about the 1800s) — quite liberated roles and activities of Latter-day Saint women in the Rocky Mountains during the last half of the 19th Century. ..bruce..

I wrote several posts a few months back about the opportunity that Barack Obama had to gain support among American Latter-day Saints, particularly in the western US. In brief, I felt that Mormons were so upset about the anti-Mormon slurs being used against Mitt Romney that I felt there was a real opportunity for Obama to pick up significant LDS support in the general election.

Well, I now believe that such an opportunity is dwindling away, due to three main developments.

First, Mike Huckabee now appears to have lost his influence in the GOP campaign. Since his campaign and he himself were the worst offenders in anti-LDS slurs, that will go a long ways towards letting the anger that many Mormons felt towards such appalling tactics die down.

Second, John McCain appears to have buried the hatchet with Mitt Romney — they’ve done fund-raising events together, something McCain desperately needs help with — and there is serious talk about Romney as VP. (Personally, I’d rather see Condi Rice as VP, but I think she may carry too much baggage from the Bush Administration to be seriously considered.) Anyway, the McCain-Romney reconciliation likewise goes a long ways towards smoothing over some of the anti-Mormon jabs that came out of the McCain campaign in the primaries. Note, however, that there are still “social conservatives” (read: Evangelicals) who are apoplectic at the thought of Romney as VP. If this is seen as having torpedoed Romney’s selection as VP, McCain support could dwindle again.

I love the government and the Constitution of this land, but I do not love the damned rascals that administer the government. — Brigham Young

Third, and the real kicker, the whole flap over various sermons by Rev. Jeremiah Wright — and Obama’s only half-hearted attempts to distance himself from Wright’s more inflammatory remarks — has likely diminished most of the support that Obama might have gained among Latter-day Saints. In particular, the clip of Rev. Wright saying, “G** d*** America!” — which was repeatedly shown on the various news channels — would likely be very offensive and disturbing to most Americans Mormons. In spite of our own history of religious persecution and having to flee the United States for what was then Mexico (and is now Utah — which gives me a great idea for a new Absolut Vodka ad showing the kingdom of Deseret), American Mormons are profoundly patriotic and believe very much in American exceptionalism, even as we decry some of the idiocies of the past and present. And while we still wince over comments made by a few past Church leaders, in most such cases said leaders have been dead for decades or over a century, rather than being alive and now building a $1.6 million home in a mostly-white, affluent neighborhood (which raises questions about many of Rev. Wright’s comments and sermons).

Things could change again. McCain could do something profoundly stupid, such as choosing Mike Huckabee as VP, though I consider that highly unlikely. On the other hand, Obama’s most recent comments — about small-town people in Pennsylvania being “bitter” and “clinging to guns or religion” — aren’t going to play very well with Mormons living in the intermountain West.

In short, I just don’t think any significant shift to Obama is going to happen. ..bruce..

[UPDATED 04/05/08 - 1455 MDT] Ooooooookay,  it looks as though this approach to one of our BBQs isn’t quite a popular as our regular approach. We had maybe 8 adults (including 3 missionaries) and 3 kids for the morning session. Several families showed up during the lunch break — we probably had 30 people here at the high point — and now we’re back down to 7 adults (plus me) and 3 or 4 kids for the afternoon session. Of course, this means I now have more food than I know what to do with, even though I only cooked up half of the hamburger and the hot dogs. Heck, I have three briskets that I haven’t even carved up yet (and most of the first two left as well). I definitely overshot. Sigh.

[UPDATED 04/05/08 - 0802 MDT] As my sweet wife Sandra is fond of telling me, the advantage of cleaning (and setting) up everything before you go to bed is that it’s all still cleaned (and set) up when you wake up in the morning. Woot! The coals in the smoker that I carefully banked last night were still hot, so it only took me a few minutes to get the firebox going. The three turkey breasts and the leg of lamb are all now being bathed in pecan smoke and actually cooking as well. The drinks (which I’ve divided into “Diet Soda/Water” and “The Good Stuff” in two different containers) are now all on ice, though they got pre-chilled last night with the overnight temperatures dropping into the 30s.

I have time to drive to the store for more ice before anyone shows up.

===== [Original post] =====

Well, all is readiness, I think. All five briskets (total pre-cooked weight: 35 lbs) have been smoked and are now in the oven for another 18 hours of cooking. I plan to get up at 6 am, rebuild the fire in the smoker, and smoke 3 bone-in turkey breasts and a leg of lamb (all of which have been marinading since yesterday). I called our next-door neighbors (Omar & Rose Rabat) and invited them to come over either Saturday or Sunday.

I have all the hamburger and hot dog buns purchased, though two of our MinPins — Wingnut (Winni) and Moonbat (Marti) — got hold of one pack of hot dog buns, ripped the package off, and dragged the buns into their ‘fort’ — the space under our bed — where they took quite a few bites out of the buns themselves. I discovered this when I called the dogs (we have four) to dinner, and Winnie and Marti just weren’t interested in their food. I also have all the ground beef, hot dogs, sausages, and portobello mushrooms purchased, as well as the chicken breasts (cut in half and marinating). Those will all get grilled between sessions tomorrow.

I got the satellite box and projector set up downstairs, then cannibalized one of my PCs to get a subwoofer and a pair of speakers for the audio; it works great. Moved furniture downstairs and set up folding chairs (we have about 20 folding chairs because Sandra is the ward music/choir director, and we hold choir practice at our house). Dragged chairs and counter stools around on the main floor as well.

Printed up 8″x5″ cards labeling bathrooms and nursing rooms and taped them to the appropriate doors. Typed up a half-sheet flyer for those attending (so I don’t have to keep explaining the same things over and over as people arrive) and put them — along with blank name tags — by the front door.

Moved all of the bottle water and diet soda out onto the deck, as well as half of the non-diet soda, so the night air can start the chilling process.

Cleaned the house so it’s spic and span.¹

I guess that’s it. “To bed, to bed! Said Sleepyhead…” (one of our kids favorite bedtime rhymes). [Scroll back up and click on the "Night Theme" button at the top of the right sidebar to get the proper effect.] ..bruce..

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¹ I added this in case my wife — who’s out of town — happens to get ‘net connection and read this post.

[Futher updates moved to the next post]

UPDATE (04/04/08; 1602 MDT): Three briskets down, two to go. I smoked the first three for about seven hours, wrapped them in foil, and put them in the oven; the other two just went into the smoker. The weather is gorgeous — sunny, mostly clear, and a bit cool. It’s supposed to be that way for the next few days, which will be just about perfect. I’m going to run out to buy some more soda — I’ve got a lot already, but then again, we’re going to have people here all day for two days.

UPDATE (04/04/08; 0910 MDT): The Conference cooking has commenced. I went out at about 7:30 am this morning, took the cover off of the smoker, dragged it into position on the deck, and started the coals a-burnin’. I’ve been marinating five (5) briskets — about 7 lbs each — since Wednesday, and I now have three of them in the smoker (all that I can fit). I will smoke them for several hours, then (as per this post) take them out, double-wrap them in heavy foil, and stick them in the oven at 180 deg F until tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ll stick the other two in the smoker and, once they’re smoked, I’ll do the same for them (but probably won’t serve them until Sunday).

I also have three bone-in turkey breasts marinating, as well as one leg of lamb. I’ll get up early tomorrow morning to start smoking them, with the goal of having them done around noon tomorrow. I’ve also got a number of boneless, skinless chicken breasts (cut in half lengthwise) marinating in Smoked Chipotle Tabasco Sauce; I’ll grill those tomorrow during lunch, along with hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken sausages, and portobello mushrooms.

Sure hope we have a large turnout, because we’ll have a ton of food. On the other hand, the last few times we’ve done this, we’ve had 70+ people show up. Should be fun. Now I’ve got to go hook up the video projector downstairs….

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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.– Rita Rudner

I periodically do what my good friend Bruce Henderson refers to as VLSBs: Very Large Scale Barbecues. My wife and I started this tradition while living in Washington DC and have continued it here in Colorado. Here’s a photoblogging record of one from a few years ago. We typically get turnouts of 50-80 people at these events, and we eat food like this (note that these photos are from two years ago; see the link in the previous sentence):

Well, I’m doing one this weekend in connection with General Conference, and y’all are invited. I will probably smoke 30 lbs of beef brisket, as well as 2-3 turkey breasts, and at least one leg of lamb, as well as grilling several dozen hamburgers and hotdogs. And we’ll provide lots and lots of bottled soda:

We run this as a pot-luck, so feel free to bring appetizers, side dishes, salads, or desserts.

We’ll have Conference on both in the living room (large screen TV) and down in the rec room (projector against one wall). Kids are welcome (Sandra has a permanent play area set up for our grandkids in one corner of the downstairs area). The schedule is pretty much GC schedule (9:30 am to 4:30 pm, both Saturday and Sunday); you can come for just one session, for all sessions, or even just for the break between sessions (12:00 noon to 2:00 pm each day).

Anyway, we’re at 9805 E Tom Tom Drive, Parker, Colorado — about 25 miles SSW of downtown Denver. Phone is 303.840.1511. Really ambitious (or crazy) Bloggernacklites from nearby states (Kansas, Wyoming, Utah, etc.) are also invited. ..bruce..