It’s hard at times to distinguish between real news and The Onion:
Tibetâ€™s living Buddhas have been banned from reincarnation without permission from Chinaâ€™s atheist leaders. The ban is included in new rules intended to assert Beijingâ€™s authority over Tibetâ€™s restive and deeply Buddhist people.
â€œThe so-called reincarnated living Buddha without government approval is illegal and invalid,â€ according to the order, which comes into effect on September 1.
Speaking of The Onion, I thought this was a delightful article:
NEW YORKâ€”An emergency coalition of deities from several major world religions is still sorting through the wreckage of a tragic bus accident that claimed 67 lives Friday in the culturally diverse Jackson Heights neighborhood of Queens….
More than half a dozen gods reportedly responded to the scene within moments of the crash. Because the victims hailed from 14 countries and professed an as-yet-undetermined number of religious faiths, however, the soul-placement process has been laborious, and fewer than a third of the deceased have so far been escorted to their appropriate afterlives.
“What a mess this is,” said Ganesha, the Hindu lord of success and obstacles. “Assuming we ever manage to figure out who worships our particular pantheon, there’s still the problem of divvying up the Buddhists, Jains, and other non-Hindus who worship me, Lakshmi, Vishnu, and about 1,000 other gods.”…
One god, who asked that His name not be spoken aloud, said the theological muddle was a rarity, and that He and the other deities usually have no trouble operating without an official post-disaster protocol.
“We don’t normally have to deal with these kinds of details,” the god said. “If there’s a rocket attack in the Middle East, it’s pretty easy to figure out who goes in to mop up.”
Further complicating matters is the presence of the devil, Beelzebub, who has demanded that the coalition relinquish all souls to him.
“These are all vile, vile sinners, and I’m not leaving until I get them,” the dark lord said, though other gods appeared unreceptive. “Look, my numbers have been way down this month. I’m sure everyone here did something damning at some point, right? Come on.”…
The only thing that would have made the article better would have been for them to refer to Mormons instead of Catholics at the very end, but given the on-going controversy around Mitt Romney, they probably thought it was too obvious a move. ..bruce..