Adventures in Mormonism

Also intelligent (if primitive) bipedal beavers and “man-bats”.

No, really.

Here’s a great write-up of the “Great Moon Hoax” perpetrated by the New York Sun back in 1835. In short, the Sun published a story that claimed that Sir John Herschel — a very real and prominent astronomer — had observed life on the moon:

The article continued on and offered an elaborate account of the fantastic sights viewed by Herschel during his telescopic observation of the moon. It described a lunar topography that included vast forests, inland seas, and lilac-hued quartz pyramids. Readers learned that herds of bison wandered across the plains of the moon; that blue unicorns perched on its hilltops; and that spherical, amphibious creatures rolled across its beaches. The highpoint of the narrative came when it revealed that Herschel had found evidence of intelligent life on the moon: he had discovered both a primitive tribe of hut-dwelling, fire-wielding biped beavers, and a race of winged humans living in pastoral harmony around a mysterious, golden-roofed temple. Herschel dubbed these latter creatures the Vespertilio-homo, or “man-bat”.

What’s interesting in the post is the account of how the Sun’s article was received at Yale:

Yale College was alive with staunch supporters. The literati—students and professors, doctors in divinity and law—and all the rest of the reading community, looked daily for the arrival of the New York mail with unexampled avidity and implicit faith. Have you seen the accounts of Sir John Herschel’s wonderful discoveries? Have you read the Sun? Have you heard the news of the man in the Moon? These were the questions that met you every where. It was the absorbing topic of the day. Nobody expressed or entertained a doubt as to the truth of the story.

I bring this up because of the regular resurfacing of the claim — based on a 2nd party account in the Young Women’s Journal some 40 years after the fact — that Joseph Smith said “as early as 1837″ that there were men on the moon, dressed “like Quakers”.  He may well have said that, but if he did, he likely was reacting to the Sun’s article, especially given the cited timeframe. Beyond that, his claim — conservatively dressed humans — is a bit more sober and feasible than “blue unicorns”, “bipedal beavers” and “man-bats”.

Something to keep in mind the next time the issues is raised.  ..bruce..

P. S. And, no, this still isn’t Part 2 on LDS exobiology.

In my wanderings through the bloggernacle over the past year or so, I’ve noticed two general trends of commentary (criticism, really) regarding LDS sacrament meetings:

• Our meetings lack the reverence, formality and solemnity of, say, Catholic mass or most Anglican/Episcopalian services
• Our meetings lack the vibrant joy, musical diversity, and audience participation of Evangelical or African-American churches

Which, of course, just goes to prove that there’s no pleasing everyone or possibly anyone. :-)  ..bruce..

I joined the Church in 1967, at age 14, thanks to being introduced by my then-best-friend, Andrew Bos. No one else in my family joined, but they were all supportive of my Church membership and activities. After graduating from high school in 1971, I went to BYU for a year, then came home and submitted my papers to go on a mission (for which my non-LDS parents paid full financial support, btw).

When my mission call came — to the Central America mission — I found out that I’d be reporting to the Mission Home in Salt Lake City in early September. A close friend from my ward, Doug, was due to report on the same day, so we made plans to fly up to Salt Lake City together the day before we had to report, spend the night at his brother Tom’s apartment, then report the next day.

Tom was two years older than Doug and me. Tom had always been the tall, smart-mouthed tough guy among the ward’s teenagers, the one who was always willing to mouth off to the adult leaders; those of us who were younger than him tended to view him with a mixture of fear, admiration, and awe. I think the adults in the ward were both pleased and not a little surprised when Tom filed papers and left on his mission. He had just finished his mission and had headed up to BYU; his roommate was one of his former missionary companions.

That evening in Provo at their apartment, Tom and his roommate showed Doug and me slides from their mission, many of which involved them doing things that they weren’t supposed to be doing — traveling out of their area, going to the beach, hanging out with girls, and so on. All through the slides, they joked about the things they got away with and the few that they didn’t. They made the mission seem like one big lark; they said little if anything about people taught, lives changed, or their own spiritual experiences.

When they finished the slide show, Doug and I left to go our separate ways and each see a few friends before coming back and crashing for the night. Tom followed us outside and stopped us by the side of his apartment building. Without any tee up or explanation, he simply looked at us and said, “If you want to be happy when you come back from your mission, work hard and obey the rules.” He then turned and went back into his apartment.

It was a rather stunning contrast to the joking and boasting that had been going on just a few minutes earlier. It was also clear that Tom had some real regrets about how he had spent his mission. I had spent years hearing adult leaders talk about missionary service and how to prepare for a full-time mission, but Tom’s single sentence carried more impact that anything else I had heard.

It served me in good stead, too. After spending five days at the Mission Home in Salt Lake and eight weeks at the Language Training Mission in Provo, I arrived in Central America in November 1972. The mission covered four countries — Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama — plus the Panama Canal Zone, which was US Territory at that time. There were no stakes or wards in the mission — only half a dozen or so districts (I can mentally count five, but there may have been one more) and two dozen or so branches — so the mission president (Quinten Hunsaker) was the presiding Church authority over all four countries.

With poor communications between countries (phone service was expensive and unreliable), and the main transportation between countries being air travel, Pres. Hunsaker visited each country only once every six weeks. Most zones covered part or all of a given country, and missionary companionships often lived and worked hours or even a full day’s bus ride away from any other missionaries. This led to many of the missionary problems that Pres. Hunsaker found upon arriving in the mission in mid-1971. He found zones where the zone leaders were changing companionships and area assignments; he found areas, such as the San Blas Islands, where missionaries were treating their assignment pretty much as a vacation; he found rather lax adherence to mission rules in almost all corners of the mission. He spent much of his three years as mission president cleaning up these problems.

My fourth or so senior companion, upon receiving me as a junior companion, asked me right off the bat, “So, are you fun or are you pious?” I quickly discovered that meant, “Are you here to have a good time or are you going to insist on doing missionary work?” That summed up the viewpoint of a large chunk of the full-time missionaries (including a few more of my senior companions) when I arrived in Central America. I opted for “pious”, remembering Tom’s words. I caught some grief for it — but for the most part I didn’t care.

And the day I left Costa Rica to fly back to the United States — though I felt that I had just then finally understood how to do missionary work and should actually be starting over — I nevertheless went home happy, with no regrets or misgivings. I had done my best to work hard and obey the rules.

Tom was right.  ..bruce..

The post is over on another one of my blogs; I won’t repeat it here.  ..bruce..

No, this is not the next posting on LDS exobiology. Through my usual morning blog-browsing, I ran across this site that characterizes the three major groups of aliens that have contact with Earth, then goes on to note that the Mormons are in cahoots with the aliens!  A sample:

Now, before relating the following account, let me say something about the Mormon Church system, within which this writer was raised… This church was created by a man named Joseph Smith, however the REAL power behind its growth was John C. Bennett, who was apparently one of many Scottish Rite agents assigned to infiltrate the various religious movements of the world. If one does a thorough study of the Masonic connections to major denominations they may discover some surprises (for instance Norman Vincent Peale was a 33rd degree mason, as were the founders of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Theosophy, Scientology, Unitarianism, and so on).

The Scottish Rite, incidentally, was created by Jesuits and Masons at the Parisian college of Clermont. Dr. John Coleman states that 13 Maltese Jesuits, 13 Wicca Masons and 13 Black Nobility members make up the 39 members of the Bildeberger group, ultimately controlled by the BAVARIAN Illuminati through the Scottish Rite.

The Master Mason John C. Bennett convinced Smith to sell out to the Masonic lodge (Scottish Rite) and Bennett worked to establish an “Order of the Illuminati” within Mormonism, according to Klaus Hansen’s book “QUEST FOR EMPIRE”. Mormonism became a hybrid religion between Christianity (worship of the “Lamb”) and gnostic Scottish Rite Masonry (worship of the “Serpent”).

Even today the Mormon masses in Utah believe that they are “Christians”, and even the majority of the “Council of 12″ - unknown to the most of its membership - are actually controlled by the Scottish Rite “Council of 50″ behind the scenes. These “Insiders” allow only the oldest members of the outer “Council of 12″ to become President of the Church. Apparently the older these council members are the less likely they will be to discern what is going on behind the scenes, to make waves or make changes, or challenge the hidden Scottish Rite infiltrators and controllers.

Hey! The Council of 50! I was wondering when we’d bring that back.

But wait — it gets better. Here are the breathless secrets divulged by a genuine “Utah researcher”:

“You most likely have heard of the Mormon Church, LDS, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, here in Utah, of which they control the total state in all fields and phases of human endeavors. They have built temples in 100 countries. The missionaries in all these countries, including the USA, work with the CIA.

“As the missionaries can get into countries where the CIA cannot, they collect information on the people and everything of any and all nature, the countries’ government and all their activities. All this world-wide information is shared with the CIA and it is fed into three of the largest computers in the world, church-owned, here in Salt Lake City (these reportedly fill the entire top 2 or 3 floor-levels of the “Church Office Building” in Salt Lake City - Branton). This church is one of the most powerful and rich organizations in the world today. It has one of the largest and secret police force[s] in the world. I have collected this kind of information for 45 years.

“The above is not all they are into. A high official of this church was recently kicked out of the church as he got too snoopy and asked too many questions. He came to me a few months ago and told me what happened. He said that HIS LIFE HAD BEEN THREATENED if he told anyone of what he had found out. So he told me that if anything happened to him, to release the information he gave me. THIS INFORMATION CONCERNS A GIANT CAVERN BENEATH SALT LAKE CITY AND THE WASATCH MOUNTAIN RANGE. IT GOES NORTH TO IDAHO AND SOUTH CLEAR DOWN PAST THE ARIZONA LINE, WITH OFFSHOOTS WEST INTO NEVADA AND EAST INTO COLORADO.

“This cavern has been common knowledge for over 120 years. Many cases over the years [have] appeared in the newspapers of people and groups of people going into the cavern, but never coming out. Several [who] did find their way out, were hopelessly insane. At least that’s what the newspaper said about them.

“At present the Archaeological Dept. of Utah are down in southeastern Utah looking for a certain entrance into this cavern, that [a] fellow by the name of John Brewer of Manti, Utah, discovered around 30 years ago (around 1960 - Branton). He brought out of the cavern quite a few ancient plates of an unknown language. Some of the plates were gold, some silver, brass, copper and clay. He also saw many strange things he won’t talk about, such as what he thought were weapons of crystal.

“His son was TORTURED AND KILLED by some unknown person or persons trying to force the secrets out of him. The church wanted the plates in the worst way - they still do.

“The information I was given by this former member of the Church IS VERY CLOSE TO BEING THE SAME AS [the information that has surfaced concerning] DULCE, NEW MEXICO. Like he told me, “After all, where on earth would be a better contact point for aliens than Utah, with thousands of miles of deserts and places not even on the present day maps. Plus a large and powerful organization with hospitals, schools and universities where aliens could undergo physical changes, educated in our languages and customs, using research labs, some of the best in the United States. A lot of GENETIC EXPERIMENTS AND RESEARCH is also going on here in different laboratories.”

And, yes, there’s more, but I’ll only quote one more paragraph:

In this case the statement that this activity - taking place within the massive cavern-systems below the Wasatch Front of the Western Rockies - is a “U.S. Government Operation” would only be a half-truth. It should also be recognized that there is a “Melchizedek” order which is active within the Mormon Church, the Masonic Lodge and the Mt. Shasta Community, all three of which apparently have some connection with the Utah underground. This does not mean that all “Melchizedeks” are presently collaborating with the Reptilian Grays - Branton).

You’ll have to go read the rest for yourself. And watch out for the Danites!  ..bruce..