Top 10 Reasons Why Mormons Should Vote for Mitt Romney

[Inside joke alert — and weak joke/pun alert — most of these will only be funny to a Mormon, and not always then.]

My wife just forwarded this from an e-mail making the rounds in LDS circles:

Top 10 Reasons to vote for Mitt Romney

10. We can do away with these dumb secret ballots and manifest our support
of the candidate “by the usual sign.” And we can get rid of costly
recounts by simply saying “opposed, if there be any.”

9. The Secret Service could be renamed the Sacred Service and would have
dark suits, sunglasses, ear pieces, and CTR rings.

8. The vice president could be replaced by two counselors

7. At inaugural balls, everyone would have to dance a Book of Mormon
apart.

6. NASA could commission a satellite to “hie to Kolob.”

5. All official government prayers could include the phrase “that we all
can get home safely.”

4. The President could not only explain things in Layman’s terms, but also
Lemuel’s terms.

3. At his inauguration he would swear on the Bible “as far as it is
translated correctly.”

2. All foreign policy statements would begin with “We Believe.”.

1. The presidential limo would be a black Suburban with a vanity plate:
“RULDS2?”

[Giuliani is still my candidate, though Fred Thompson looks pretty good, too.  ..bruce..]

2 thoughts on “Top 10 Reasons Why Mormons Should Vote for Mitt Romney

  1. [Giuliani is still my candidate, though Fred Thompson looks pretty good, too. ..bruce..]

    But hardly the “radical” type of candidates of the early Church, i.e., Joseph Smith. I think you’ll have to go to the other side of the spectrum for ones closer to that style, as discussed by Bushman in the article you cited to in your Mormonism and Democracy post. Still the Mitt reasons were pretty funny actually.

  2. To quote again from Orson Scott Card (Saintspeak):

    radical – Before the presidency of Heber J. Grant, what all Mormons were perceived by nonmembers to be. After all, they practiced polygamy, despised capitalism, insisted on equal rights for women under the law, and believed that the government had no right to interfere with people’s private sexual practices.

    conservative – After the presidency of Heber J. Grant, what all Mormons were perceived by nonmembers to be. (See radical.)

    By the way, everyone else be sure to check out Guy’s excellent blog, Messenger and Advocate. ..bruce..

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