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	<title>Adventures in Mormonism &#187; LDS Society</title>
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	<description>Correcting the incorrigible</description>
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		<title>Interesting commentary on the US District Court ruling on DOMA</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/09/interesting-commentary-on-the-us-district-court-ruling-on-doma/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/09/interesting-commentary-on-the-us-district-court-ruling-on-doma/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jul 2010 22:37:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Belief systems]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Polygamy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=766</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Defense of Marriage Act, passed by the US Congress in 1996, defines marriage as being solely between &#8220;a man and a woman&#8221;. Judge Joseph Tauro of the US District Court of Massachusetts just issued a ruling striking down the DOMA as unconstitutional. In so doing, he apparently stated that DOMA marks the first time [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The Defense of Marriage Act, passed by the US Congress in 1996, defines marriage as being solely between &#8220;a man and a woman&#8221;. Judge Joseph Tauro of the US District Court of Massachusetts just issued a ruling <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/08/AR2010070806107.html">striking down the DOMA as unconstitutional</a>. In so doing, he apparently stated that</p>
<blockquote><p>DOMA marks the first time that the federal government has ever attempted  to legislatively mandate a uniform federal definition of marriage – or  any other core concept of domestic relations, for that matter.</p></blockquote>
<p>Charles Lane, over at the Post Partisan blog of the Washington Post, <a href="http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postpartisan/2010/07/judge_tauros_questionable_past.html">responds by saying, in effect, &#8220;Uh, no.&#8221;</a></p>
<blockquote><p>During the 1856 presidential campaign, the Republican Party platform  had accused the Democrats of countenancing “those twin relics of  barbarism&#8211;polygamy and slavery” and declared it the &#8220;duty of Congress  to prohibit” both evils in the territories. Buchanan’s expedition was  intended to prove the Republicans wrong. It succeeded only in provoking a  few inconsequential clashes between armed Mormons and U.S. soldiers.</p>
<p>Congress subsequently adopted three increasingly harsh criminal bans  on bigamy and polygamy in the territories: in 1862, 1882 and 1887. The  Supreme Court <a href="http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&amp;vol=98&amp;invol=145">upheld</a> <a href="http://supreme.justia.com/us/136/1/case.html">these laws</a> repeatedly against Mormon challenges alleging, among other things, that  they violated religious liberty. The 1887 law, the Edmunds-Tucker Act,  abrogated the Mormon Church’s corporate charter and confiscated its  property, on the grounds that its leaders encouraged polygamy.</p>
<p>The Supreme Court said that was okay, too. Echoing the majority  opinion of the day, the court recoiled in frank horror at a practice the  Mormons believed was ordained by God &#8212; but which the justices  considered a “crime against the laws and abhorrent to the sentiments and  feelings of the civilized world.” They compared it to human sacrifice. . . .</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>So it is a bit misleading to say, as Tauro does, “every [historical]  effort to establish a national definition of marriage met failure.”  Washington’s triumph over Mormon polygamy, made permanent in a national  statute, would seem to qualify as a federal definition of marriage, at  least in the sense of what marriage is not.</p>
<p>To be sure, Tauro emphasizes that the <em>states</em> have always had  exclusive authority over marriage. Utah was a territory at the time of  Washington’s effort to stamp out polygamy, and the constitution gave the  federal government paramount authority over territories, including  their domestic legislation. (That is why, technically, the anti-polygamy  laws aimed at Utah also applied to Arizona, Oklahoma, Alaska and the  District of Columbia.) Congress functioned, in effect, as the  super-legislature for each territory.</p>
<p>Yet what is noteworthy about the Utah case is that Congress leveraged  its power over Utah the territory into power over Utah the state. As a  condition of admission to the Union, Utah’s people gave Congress a  permanent veto over their marriage laws – a veto that remains on the  books to this day. The fact that today’s Mormons are proponents of  heterosexual monogamy and opponents of same-sex monogamy, is deeply  ironic, but legally irrelevant.</p>
<p>What’s more, Utah is not the only state in which this situation  obtains. The language of the Utah Enabling Act was repeated,  word-for-word, in the laws that admitted New Mexico, Arizona and  Oklahoma as states in the early 20th Century. In short, the federal  government has shared authority over the marriage laws of four U.S.  states.</p></blockquote>
<p>Now, I have long been amused by those who state that efforts to allow gay marriage would have no impact on efforts to allow plural marriage. It has always struck me that any successful legal argument allowing gay marriage would have to, of necessity, allow plural marriage &#8212; I have yet to see a convincing argument to the contrary, particularly since plural marriage has a much deeper and broader history worldwide (including current active practice, particularly in Islamic and African cultures) than gay marriage does.</p>
<p>If Judge Tauro&#8217;s ruling is upheld, it would be interesting to see whether legal challenges to the Federally-mandated Arizona laws might arise from one of the polygamous religious groups therein (Arizona being, in my opinion, the most likely candidate for such an effort). Since Judge Tauro&#8217;s ruling does indicate that states can define marriage on their own, such an effort could be quickly ended by a <em>de novo</em> state law banning plural marriage (and for all I know, such a law already exists). But we continue to live in interesting times.  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>Interesting view of LDS professionals</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/09/interesting-view-of-lds-professionals/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/09/interesting-view-of-lds-professionals/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:04:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Current events]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=762</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Financial Times (which I read faithfully for a while back in DC, while I still read physical newspapers) notes the increased visibility of Mormons in Western business, government, and culture (free registration may be required): Mormons are moving from the periphery of modern American life to the very centre. From Romney’s failed tilt at [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The Financial Times (which I read faithfully for a while back in DC, while I still read physical newspapers) notes <a href="http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/938ff454-8a32-11df-bd30-00144feab49a.html">the increased visibility of Mormons in Western business, government, and culture</a> (free registration may be required):</p>
<blockquote><p>Mormons are moving from the periphery of modern American life to the very centre. From Romney’s failed tilt at the presidency to the tales of everyday polygamous families in HBO’s popular drama Big Love, Mormonism has become increasingly visible over the last generation. Where its most famous acolytes were once the Osmonds, leading lights now include politicians such as US Senate majority leader Harry Reid (a Democrat) and Romney (a Republican); Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight  vampire saga; Glenn Beck, the popular conservative talk-show host; and self-help guru Stephen R. Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.</p>
<p>Those are the household names. As important are the Mormons who play central roles at the companies and institutions that make America tick: Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State University (one of the biggest in the US); David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue Airlines; J.W. (“Bill”) Marriott, head of Marriott International; and Jon Huntsman Jr, ambassador to China – to name a few. And while firm data are hard to come by, off-the-record interviews conducted for this article suggest that a generation of Mormons in their thirties and forties is accelerating the trend. For every Hill Cumorah Pageant – an annual set of performances starting this weekend in which a cast of 650 enact scenes from the Bible and Book of Mormon before massive audiences near Joseph Smith’s birthplace – there are much more mundane scenes being played out across the US: an investment banker in New York said, “I was at my final day of interviews at JPMorgan during my senior year in college. They took students from Princeton, Yale, Harvard, U-Penn and Brigham Young University [a Mormon university in Utah]. I was like, ‘what the hell? BYU?’ Then I slowly realised how many Mormons there are on Wall Street.”</p>
<p>The CIA has its eye out for Mormons, who, people say jokingly, ace the mandatory drugs and lie-detector tests. Blue-chip corporations are recruiting, too. And at Harvard Business School, female students note ruefully that attractive male classmates are invariably associated with one of the “three Ms”: the military, the management consultancy McKinsey or Mormonism.</p>
<p>In that complaint lies the conundrum: much of the US still sees Mormons as weirdly strait-laced at best, cultish at worst. Yet elite institutions are embracing them. What does that fact say about the world’s youngest major religion – and about success in modern America?</p></blockquote>
<p>Much of this is not new &#8212; Stephen Covey has been writing for decades, and the CIA was recruiting at BYU when I was an undergrad in the 70s &#8212; but I do agree with the articles main points: Mormons and the LDS Church as visible as never before, and &#8212; as noted &#8212; &#8220;elite institutions are embracing them.&#8221; Some of their observations and answers are quite interesting.</p>
<p>Must drive the anti-LDS crowd nuts. <img src='http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />  Read the whole thing.  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>At the Ward Cub Scout fund raiser</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/02/at-the-ward-cub-scout-fund-raiser/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/07/02/at-the-ward-cub-scout-fund-raiser/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:22:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=759</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Heh.  ..bruce..]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://wondermark.com/635"><img class="alignnone" src="http://wondermark.com/c/2010-07-02-635cookies.gif" alt="" width="720" height="278" /></a></p>
<p>Heh.  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>The DUP in Ireland and us (or is that U.S.?) Mormons</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/04/19/the-dup-in-ireland-and-us-mormons/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2010/04/19/the-dup-in-ireland-and-us-mormons/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:04:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=748</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What I first ran across this headline (and associated article), I was wondering what the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers were doing running an ad, especially in Ireland. As it turns out, &#8220;DUP&#8221; stands for Democrat Unionist Party, one of the larger political parties in Ireland. Here&#8217;s the article lead: The two attractive young models [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/politics/election/dup-election-models-are-mormons-from-the-us-14772065.html"><img class="alignnone" title="Vote for the DUP!" src="http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00236/Dan-Whitmore-and-Kr_236501t.jpg" alt="" width="294" height="244" /></a></p>
<p>What I first ran across <a href="http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/politics/election/dup-election-models-are-mormons-from-the-us-14772065.html">this headline (and associated article)</a>, I was wondering what the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers were doing running an ad, especially in Ireland. <img src='http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />  As it turns out, &#8220;DUP&#8221; stands for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Unionist_Party">Democrat Unionist Party</a>, one of the larger political parties in Ireland. Here&#8217;s the article lead:</p>
<blockquote><p>The two attractive young models used on controversial DUP election  posters are    American Mormons living in New York, it has been revealed.</p>
<p>Fortunately for the scandal-hit DUP they are clean-living conservatives  but    they’ve never even been to Northern Ireland let alone registered to  vote on    May 6.</p>
<p>The Sunday Life yesterday revealed the pair are Kristin Mackenzie and  Dan    Whitmore who had never even heard of the DUP until last week when they  were    splashed across election posters proclaiming they were going to vote  for the    party.</p></blockquote>
<div id="TixyyLink">I don&#8217;t know about the &#8220;clean living&#8221; part &#8211;<a href="http://andstillipersist.com/about-the-author/"> that guy with the beard  is kind of iffy</a>.  ..bruce..<br />
<a href="http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/politics/election/dup-election-models-are-mormons-from-the-us-14772065.html#ixzz0lXy68ebz"></a></div>
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		<title>Mormons get the blame for Maine</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/11/05/mormons-get-the-blame-for-maine/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/11/05/mormons-get-the-blame-for-maine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:20:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Current events]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=666</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mollie over at GetReligion.org points out that in wake of Maine citizens overturning the gay marriage law (the Question 1 initiative before voters this past Tuesday), gay marriage supporters are now seeking to blame the LDS Church somehow: Check out this paragraph in the Post story about the National Organization for Marriage: Some groups for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Mollie over at GetReligion.org points out that in wake of <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/03/maine-gay-marriage-vote-e_n_344688.html">Maine citizens overturning the gay marriage law</a> (the Question 1 initiative before voters this past Tuesday), <a href="http://www.getreligion.org/?p=20859"><strong>gay marriage supporters are now seeking to blame the LDS Church somehow</strong></a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Check out this paragraph in the Post story about the National Organization for Marriage:</p>
<p><em>Some groups for gays say the organization is a stalking horse for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or the Mormons, which dominated fundraising in the California campaign. Many of the actors in a nationally televised ad produced by NOM, called “Gathering Storm,” turned out to be Mormon activists. </em></p>
<p>Wow. Okay, so the allegation at play here is that the Mormons are deceiving everyone by operating this group without being up front about it. That is a very serious charge. Nowhere is it substantiated. I mean, I know that the National Organization for Marriage has at least one Mormon board member — Orson Scott Card. But he’s hiding in plain sight. I found out that information by surfing the NOM website myself. And what does it mean that “many” of the actors in a television ad “turned out to be” Mormon activists? I don’t even know what that means, although it does sound scary. What, exactly, is a “Mormon activist”?</p></blockquote>
<p>I think they&#8217;re called Danites. <img src='http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' />  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>30 LDS missionaries deported from Guyana [updated]</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/09/02/30-lds-missionaries-deported-from-guyana/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/09/02/30-lds-missionaries-deported-from-guyana/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:29:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hymns]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=604</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[UPDATED [09/03/09 -- 2150 MDT] There are now indications that the expulsion of LDS missionaries from Guyana may have been due to political and/or religious reasons, rather than visa problems as originally reported: GEORGETOWN, Guyana &#8211; Authorities in Guyana grew &#8220;uncomfortable&#8221; with the presence of Mormon missionaries who have been ordered to leave the South [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.bottegacd.it/per_la_pace/we_shall_over_came.htm"><img class="  alignnone" title="Something for the 2025 LDS hymn book revision" src="http://www.bottegacd.it/per_la_pace/note.JPG" alt="Please turn to hymn number, uh..." width="488" height="171" /></a></p>
<h3>UPDATED [09/03/09 -- 2150 MDT]</h3>
<p>There are now indications that the expulsion of LDS missionaries from Guyana <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32681635/ns/world_news-world_faith/">may have been due to political and/or religious reasons</a>, rather than visa problems as originally reported:</p>
<blockquote><p>GEORGETOWN, Guyana &#8211; Authorities in Guyana grew &#8220;uncomfortable&#8221; with the presence of Mormon missionaries who have been ordered to leave the South American country, a governing party leader said Thursday.</p>
<p>About 40 missionaries were briefly detained Wednesday and told to leave within a month as authorities said their travel documents were out of date.</p>
<p>Comments by Donald Ramotar of the governing People&#8217;s Progressive Party, however, suggested the crackdown went beyond immigration issues.</p>
<p>&#8220;While we tolerate all religions, it appears that some officials had become uncomfortable with them around,&#8221; said Ramotar, the party&#8217;s general secretary.</p>
<p>Ramotar declined to elaborate. But some government officials and party members said privately that leaders felt the Mormons were too close to opposition figures and also were wary of the church&#8217;s independent charity work in the interior.</p></blockquote>
<p>Hey! It&#8217;s the Extermination Order all over again! Cool! I still want to find out if the missionaries really sang &#8220;We Shall Overcome&#8221; while in jail.</p>
<h3>[END OF UPDATE]</h3>
<p><a href="http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&amp;sid=7782698">Via KSL News</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>At least 30 Latter-day Saint missionaries were detained Wednesday in the South American country of Guyana because they did not have updated travel documents, police said.</p>
<p>Most of them are U.S. citizens and will be given one month to leave before they are deported, Police Chief Henry Greene said. He declined further comment.</p>
<p>The missionaries were expected to be released late Wednesday to prepare for their departure, acting U.S. ambassador Karen Williams said.</p></blockquote>
<p>Sounds like <a href="http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/04/25/a-sticky-wicket-the-church-and-illegal-immigration/">more visa problems</a>. But here&#8217;s my favorite part:</p>
<blockquote><p>It was unclear what prompted the arrests. No incidents involving the missionaries were reported prior to their detainment. They could be heard singing &#8220;We Shall Overcome&#8221; from their cells Wednesday night.</p></blockquote>
<p>OK, what LDS missionary knows the words and tune to &#8220;We Shall Overcome&#8221;? I suspect what they were heard  singing was &#8220;Come, Come Ye Saints&#8221;.</p>
<p>Then again,  I could be wrong &#8212; all it would take is one of the missionaries, and s/he could teach it to the rest. We&#8217;re nothing if not quick studies on hymns, given how many times in Sacrament meeting we are confronted with a hymn that we would swear we have never heard nor sung before. And, of course, the missionaries would all think it was hilarious (just as I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;re amused about spending the night in jail &#8212; even in Guyana &#8212; and possibly being deported).</p>
<p>I <em>do </em>think all LDS missionaries (and members) should learn how to sing &#8220;<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkNsEH1GD7Q">We Shall Overcome</a>&#8220;.  It would make a great closing hymn for Sacrament meeting. <img src='http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>Another LDS-related &#8220;affinity fraud&#8221; case</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/09/01/another-lds-related-affinity-fraud-case/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/09/01/another-lds-related-affinity-fraud-case/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2009 15:16:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cautionary tale]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=598</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve posted a few times before (here and here) about &#8220;affinity fraud&#8221; cases involving Latter-day Saints, that is, financial fraud cases that in part prey upon Mormons via their religion, much as Bernie Madoff&#8217;s frauds preyed heavily upon Jews and Jewish organizations. Well, another example has cropped up: Like those caught up in other get-rich [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://paulwilkinson.wordpress.com/2009/06/27/affinity-fraud-and-ponzi-schemes-everything-you-need-to-get-started/"><img class="alignnone" style="margin: 10px;" title="If the shoe fits..." src="http://paulwilkinson.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/ponzi-scheme-for-dummies1.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>I&#8217;ve posted a few times before (<a href="../2009/03/13/madoff-syndrome-strikes-california-mormons/">here</a> and <a href="../2009/04/13/mormon-madoff-redux/">here</a>) about &#8220;affinity fraud&#8221; cases involving Latter-day Saints, that is, financial fraud cases that in part prey upon Mormons via their religion, much as Bernie Madoff&#8217;s frauds preyed heavily upon Jews and Jewish organizations.</p>
<p>Well, <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&amp;sid=an7Pm3hkmauw">another example has cropped up</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Like those caught up in other get-rich scams &#8212; from Bernard Madoff’s $65 billion Ponzi scheme, which initially snared wealthy Jews, to an alleged $4.4 million fraud aimed at deaf people &#8212; Tri Energy’s investors had something in common. Many were Mormons and born-again Christians who shared dreams and prayers on nightly conference calls. They vowed to use the profits for charitable works and kept raising funds, at times taking out second mortgages, draining retirement accounts and recruiting relatives.</p></blockquote>
<p>What&#8217;s interesting is that the people perpetrating the fraud aren&#8217;t LDS themselves &#8212; they&#8217;re just taking advantage of them:</p>
<blockquote><p>Jones, Jennings and Simburg, none of whom is a Mormon, exploited this vulnerability for at least four years, offering a cocktail of spirituality, exclusivity and the promise of high returns.</p>
<p>“The guys who did this were geniuses in a way,” says Dana Carney, an assistant professor of management at the Columbia University Graduate School of Business in New York, who has written about investor psychology. “This has the flavor of a cult. They hit all these vulnerabilities. There was religion; we trust like people, especially religiously like people. With the nightly calls, there was an illusion of transparency. They took advantage of the sunk-costs phenomenon: The more people invest in something, the more connected they feel.”</p></blockquote>
<p>Be sure to read the whole thing.  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>Dealing with your spouse&#8217;s midlife crisis</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/08/11/dealing-with-your-spouses-midlife-crisis/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/08/11/dealing-with-your-spouses-midlife-crisis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:40:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LDS Society]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=585</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I just ran across an outstanding article over at the New York Times written by a woman whose husband wanted to leave her: Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I just ran across <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html">an outstanding article over at the New York Times</a> written by a woman whose husband wanted to leave her:</p>
<blockquote><p>Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”</p>
<p>But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore” and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.</p></blockquote>
<p>I am profoundly struck by the wisdom and courage of this woman in how she dealt with a painful and risky situation. I think there&#8217;s a lot here for LDS couples who have hit a rocky spot in their marriages. Read the whole thing.  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>Poor fasting: a different approach to eating</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/07/12/poor-fasting-a-different-approach-to-eating/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/07/12/poor-fasting-a-different-approach-to-eating/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:18:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Food]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=558</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the reasons my blogging here (and elsewhere) has been so light for some time is that I spent almost all of May and June out in California, living out of a hotel, working on a case where I spent most of the day (and often a good part of the evening) in a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the reasons my blogging here (and elsewhere) has been so light for some time is that I spent almost all of May and June out in California, living out of a hotel, working on a case where I spent most of the day (and often a good part of the evening) in a closed room in a secure facility, reviewing source code and files. I came back at the start of this month dismayed at the weight I had gained, especially since I was far (oh, <em>so </em>far!) from svelte when I went out there.</p>
<p>Part of my long-standing problem in keeping my weight down is that I really like to cook and I really like to eat. Since I&#8217;ve been self-employed for the past eight years, work at home, and frequently have nothing pressing to do, this means that the most pleasurable times in a given day are often the times I fix and eat food.  Also, I tend to be up from about 6 or 7 am in the morning until 11 pm or midnight. As a result, I have some bad eating habits:</p>
<ul>
<li>snacking at all hours, since I&#8217;m usually home all day;</li>
<li>substantial late-night snacks (fried egg sandwich, toasted cheese sandwich, peanut-butter-and-butter on [several pieces of] toast);</li>
<li> eating too fast (comes from growing up in a family of six kids, most of whom were older than me);</li>
<li>a propensity of fixing larger meals for myself than I really should, telling myself that it will lead me to eat less at the subsequent meal (which it rarely does, because the meals themselves tend to be spread out from early morning to late at night).</li>
</ul>
<p>Finally, there are some real emotional components to my eating. It&#8217;s a source of comfort, particularly if I&#8217;ve feeling stressed &#8212; and anyone who has been self-employed can tell you that stress is a way of life.</p>
<p>Anyway, I came back to Colorado at the start of July, determined to start exercising again and to get rid of not only the weight I had gained, but the weight I was carrying around before I ever went out to California. I started doing an early-morning routine of stretching and walking, but knew that would not be enough.</p>
<p>And then Fast Sunday (July 5th) came along. (See, there <em>is </em>an LDS connection in here.)</p>
<p>Our ward is currently on a late schedule (2-5 pm), so fasting largely means skipping breakfast and lunch on Sunday. And while fasting is never easy for me, it <em>is </em>something I can do. So it was during this past Fast Sunday that I came up with an approach to break up my eating habits. I&#8217;ve been trying it for a week, and it&#8217;s been very interesting and actually quite easy to follow.</p>
<p>Here it is in a nutshell: I only eat between 11 am and 6 pm, with the exception of allowing myself one piece of fresh fruit in the morning, if I want it. I place no restrictions on drinking and in fact have a 72-oz drinking bottle that I fill with water (with some fruit juice for flavoring) and try to get through each day. But I stop eating around 6 pm and (with the piece-of-fruit exception) I don&#8217;t start eating again until 11 am the next morning.</p>
<p>In short, it&#8217;s like a really bad attempt at fasting.  I&#8217;ve trained myself for 40+ years to tell myself, &#8220;OK, no more food or drink until such-and-such a time tomorrow.&#8221;  And since I can do an honest LDS fast, fasting poorly is a cinch, in part since I can drink all I want and even cheat in the morning with a piece of fruit, but largely because I have lots of experience and success at fasting poorly.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve only been trying this for a week now, but I find the results to be very interesting. My consumption of bread, butter, cheese and eggs &#8212; my early-morning and late-night foods of choice &#8212; has dropped dramatically. For that matter, my overall consumption of food has dropped. Since I can&#8217;t eat after 6 pm (or whenever I finish my dinner, which has to be started before 6 pm), my evening snacking has gone away. The morning-piece-of-fruit exception makes the wait until 11 am very tolerable.  And the fact that the rest of my eating is compressed into a 7-hour period &#8212; instead of being spread out over 16 to 18 hours &#8212; means that the large lunch I usually fix at 11 am really does have an impact on how much I eat up through 6 pm.</p>
<p>So far, I haven&#8217;t made a great effort to put any limits or directions on what I do eat during those 7 hours, either quality or quantity. My new pattern seems to be: a large lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, a regular dinner. Note that I haven&#8217;t been gorging myself, and I do try to eat healthily regardless.  But it&#8217;s clear to me that I&#8217;m eating less on a daily basis than I was before. More importantly, I seem to be breaking up some of my self-defeating eating habits, particularly cutting out all snacking during 17 hours of the day. And I&#8217;m doing it by leveraging training I&#8217;ve put myself through for 40 years.</p>
<p>In case you&#8217;re wondering, yes, I have lost weight since getting back and particularly since changing my eating pattern. However, I&#8217;ve also been faithful about the stretch-then-walk routine in the mornings (I walked 18 miles this week), and the weight lost so far represents weight I gained out in California. The real trick will be my weight back down to where it was two years ago, four years ago, and finally back down to my goal weight (where I was about 11 years ago). That will require upping my personal exercise as well as continuing to improve my eating patterns and habits. Hey, eat less and exercise more &#8212; what an insight!</p>
<p>Thoughts?  ..bruce..</p>
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		<title>Did you know that LDS women &#8220;flock&#8221;, &#8220;swarm&#8221;, and &#8220;buzz&#8221;?</title>
		<link>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/04/29/did-you-know-that-lds-women-flock-swarm-and-buzz/</link>
		<comments>http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/2009/04/29/did-you-know-that-lds-women-flock-swarm-and-buzz/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:54:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bfwebster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[LDS Society]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://adventures-in-mormonism.com/?p=550</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This morning&#8217;s Salt Lake Tribune has the following story headline and opening sentence: LDS women flock to upcoming BYU Women&#8217;s Conference More than 20,000 Mormon women will swarm the campus of Brigham Young University next week, buzzing about mothering, marriage, the media and dozens of other spiritual and secular topics. It prompted me to write [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This morning&#8217;s Salt Lake Tribune has <a href="http://www.sltrib.com/lds/ci_12209506">the following story headline and opening sentence</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<h3>LDS women flock to upcoming BYU Women&#8217;s Conference</h3>
<p>More than 20,000 Mormon women will swarm the campus of Brigham Young University next week, buzzing about mothering, marriage, the media and dozens of other spiritual and secular topics.</p></blockquote>
<p>It prompted me to write Peggy Stack (the author of the piece) this e-mail:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;LDS Women Flock&#8221;? Would you (or the Trib) use that verb to describe (a) a NOW or Emily&#8217;s List conference,  (b) an LDS Priesthood conference, or (c) any non-religious gathering of men (or, for that matter, women)? The headline has a whiff of religious and/or sexist condescension. Same question for the use of the verbs &#8220;swarm&#8221; and &#8220;buzz&#8221; in the first sentence.</p></blockquote>
<p>What do you think?  ..bruce..</p>
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